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And for the time being I am done. I am rebooting my computer and wiping my hard drive and heading for greener pastures.

Maybe I'll get back on and maybe not.

As to the book Al??????

The truth is in the details

I am now about to annihilate another old Bull---t cliche. The Devil is not in the details.

The Devil hates details and he likes the ambiguity of generalities. It gives Satin plenty of room to maneuver and pull his lying @$$ s--t.

No......the TRUTH is in the details. This is where things add up or don't. The place where the lies stand out like broken records.

That is why I spend so much time examining everything I can down to the molecular level even trying to understand what the truth really is.

That is why laws should be very simple straight forward and easy to understand like as in thou shall not. The more wordy a law gets the easier it is for the Devil to manipulate the situation.

The rest should be left up to the people to decide what is the truth and to accept or reject what people say and do or to patronize or not patronize.

My Wife told the Preacher

I don't remember if I wrote this one up or not but two or three weeks ago my wife went to one of the preachers in our church and told him that we were breaking up and one of the main reasons we are breaking up was because she lied to me constantly and that made me mad. She also told him she was bi-polar and that she couldn't help doing what she was doing(whatever that is).



She came home from a day out there in the big bad ol world Thursday Sep 6th and I asked her well what the preach say.

She said that she told the preach there was no way we were going to be getting back together(I wonder what gave her that idea?)and that her reason was that I always thought she was lying(I wonder why?)

I said to her. Do you realize that you just showed the preacher your disease. I reminded her that she already told the preach that she had told him she lied to me and that was a big reason for me being mad at her a lalalala. and then she just made a statement that would cause a preach to think I was nuts because I wouldn't believe her. If I was a preach in a church with 4400 members I might not remember what she said to me last time. I might think that I was at fault.

The only fault I have is in picking a mate when I can't see the bi-polar personality traits before I make a commitment in front of God and keep picking women who cannot be faithful or are clinically nuts holding out way too much hope that they can be made better or will get better or will see the error of their ways. They can't and/or won't and there is no hope on this earth of a cure and it has taken me 30 long years to accept that fact that if they are nuts they are nuts and I am not able to do anything to change that fact and that hurts. It makes me feel like a failure. I don't like giving up and I don't like giving up hope on anything. It is just one more thing of this world that I have had to give up hope in. It places me in the position of giving God more room in my heart and the war between my flesh and my spirit just went one more notch to my spirit.



Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.


Like I said I believe I have figured out why I keep getting involved with nutty women and though I have told some personal acquaintances I will not divulge it in an open web site.

To my road crew I say this..........have patience. I will be a bustin out of this burg as soon as I am able.

I have a question

Why is it that in the word, God says that a man who lays with a woman is defiled?


Rev 14:4 These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb.

I Wish

She would just stop talking to me. She ain't telling the truth. She talks to her momma like she hates me but she is very nice to me face to face.

All that makes me want to do is wish I would have taken off with the 5000 bucks back in May when I saw her symptoms rear there ugly head.

I told her if anyone asks just tell them we don't like each other and we are going our separate ways that's all.

She has got her mommy so riled up that her mommy thinks that something bad is going to happen to her.

I want to assure the world that so long as I am here and she is in my house that I will not do anything to harm her and that I WILL DEFEND HER WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

I do not hate her I just want her out the door.

She feels guilty. she feels so guilty that it is like a ton of weight on her. She is guilty. People don't you realize that guilt is a universal thing. That it is the holy spirit making you feel guilt. She has dedicated her life to Jesus and what she is doing is an abomination before God. I guess she thinks that God will just keep right on forgiving her except for one thing. If you do something long enough God will just turn you over to the doing of it.

I would say that she may be in the category of one of those people who are in danger of Judgement that Jesus speaks of. I know the heart of God. He does not wish this for her but if she does not change she will. god is no respecter of persons. So there is not going to be any excuse like 'but God I was bi-polar I didn't have any choice'. I don't think that is going to carry one ounce of weight with God. Well the truth is she does have a choice or does she? Maybe she would get away with 'It was your will that I be this way and I could not fight your will'.

Either way. I just want away from her or her away from me. I am praying and hoping for the middle of next week. I Hope I hope I hope I hope.

Through all of this

Never the less it is still a great urge within me to talk about Jesus. Even though I have not been working and have not had any of the main contact with people that I have from my job yet God has given me some very good moments of interaction.

I had a great conversation about serving God with a firefighter at Walmart. In fact AI had met him before and he told me that he hated to hear that I was leaving and that I had had a larger impact than I thought. He reminded me of the conversation we had had in which as a customer I had given him the calming word of a man who was following Jesus that I would get to his unit and solve the problem. He said that made such an impression on him that he began to use the very same with others and how God graced him with the same effect. I started to cry and told him that for most of my life I have worked for God without the requirement of feedback. I have especially since 1997 certainly asked God to take all of the credit and reserve none of it for me. I don't and cannot take any credit for any positive or good thing that occurs around me due to my preaching the Gospel or telling people about what God has taught me about the Kingdom of Heaven. It is very hard sometimes because under these circumstances we don't really get the feedback which tells us if we are being effective or of base. It is just anther way of placing full trust and confidence in our Mighty God. I am of course distressed at my personal situation and that God would see fit to encourage me that I am indeed doing the will and heart of God overwhelmed me. To be able to be used as tool to spread the Love of God which is life to me is what I asked for and to find out that it was bearing wonderful fruit is beyond my ability to contain my joy.

In spite of my personal problem and idiosyncrasies in spite of my weakness and my sin God still sees fit to do His good works through me this poor decrepit imperfect vessel.

Wouldn't you like to be such a tool?

All it takes is a desire to love him and when given unto you to do a commitment to him and he will do through you the works of Love that he has ordained for you to do in the fullness of joy...... absolutely indescribable joy.

Lambs Well

Wellll I think she is at it again. She said this morning that she was going to the Lambs Well (a local christian book store)to get a book marker for her Aunt. I decided that I was going to haul another load of my stuff over to storage.
I had pulled up the the intersection of Corder Rd and Russell Parkway in the left turn lain when I saw what appeared to be Karen in her car. Now the Lambs Well is across town from here but maybe she went to her secret bank(you now....the one she created a new account that I don't know about...supposedly). If that was the case then the direction she was going(west) is on the way there.

It only took about 10 minutes to unload and as I headed back home I suddenly got a little urge to drive on by the Lambs Well just to see if she was there. Nope She wasn't . So I said well if that is the only place she was going and that is the only place she said she was going then she is probably back at the house. Nope she ain't here. OH I suppose there could be a logical reason for this.

She told me this morning she made it right with her mom but Why did this house have the heavy feeling of Bulls--t.

I don't know who she is talking too.

I told Karen that I was planning everything as if she was not going with me.

She did not answer. I looked at her and said "you are not answering me". She just shrugged her shoulder. I said "you don't know what you are doing yet"? She said no.

I showed her an article I had written about Why God takes people away from you. It is by far the most popular article with many hits and at or near the top in the Google search engine.

I read it too her. Actually I had requested her to come in here and read it but she said that she was busy and why don't I just read it too her. She has a 50% hearing loss in one ear and trouble concentrating and she is in the other room. So I read it to her as loud without shouting as I could. It is written in a sermon type of format and since I wrote it I of course know where to emphasize.

She apparently did not want to hear this and after I got done with the sermon she went outside.

Later she got on the phone and says to whoever that she told me she is not going with me to serve Jesus. She lied to one of us.

Of course this is confusion so I mulled it over for a few minutes then went over to storage and sat there thinking for a few more minutes. I went home and started packing. She was in the shower and when she came out she said what are you doing. I said what does it look like I am doing. She says are you leaving? I said I am preparing to leave-if I had somewhere to go today I would be gone. I felt as heavy as a pile of bricks. She said why are you doing this (a surprise question to me)? I said when you were talking to your mom you were talking really loud. I heard what you said. You lied to your mom or you lied to me. She said "I don't understand"? I said, "you told her that you told me you were not going with me when in actuality I told you I did not want you to go and that you were not going with me. I said because you do this constantly you paint me as some kind of monster when I am not. I said you need to call her and make a correction. She said that she "would do it tomorrow" as I continued to pack I told her she should do it today. She said ok and went to get her phone and called but her mom was not in.
We sat down and had a little heart to heart for a change. I told her that she had lied to everyone around her and that those are symptoms of someone trying to hide from everyone. I said it made her look bad. I tried to explain as best as I knew what her primary problem was. 'Fear'. I told her that I understood exactly what she was going through and that I knew that she could overcome the problem. I told her I did not think her dumb. I told her I knew that she had a very low self esteem and that my cussing her out for screwing up big time wasn't helping her but I also told her she could overcome all of these problems and though she had made these things part of her by man's considerations it would take years to conquer her self that also if she would just put her faith in God that she could overcome her problems in a very short period of time but that I was no longer able or willing to wait for her to get better. She had long ago destroyed even her own families trust in her that her family has no room for her back in Virginia. The mean thing to say i suppose(I have never said this to her)is she made her bed she is just going to have to lay in it by herself but I didn't say that.

She doesn't like her dad. I don't like my mom and even though both of us longed to have good relationships with our parents we were symply not able to have one. It also makes it difficult for us in marriage because men are men and women are women.

She told me she was afraid to be alone. So she will be moving in with a friend. I remember how terrified I was ten years ago about being alone. Now I am looking forward to it. To be master of myself like Jesus says we should be content to be. I am really looking forward to it.

I know that my and her heart will ache for a while but it is necessary. Like I said to many people better than 6 years ago. If I was meant to be married I would have still been married to my first wife. I am not meant to be married.

I have a job prospect right now and will probably take advantage of it for 30 days or so just to put a little extra cash in the kitty for the trip to where ever.

Another what the?

Wife feeds stray cats. Possums invite themselves to the freebee. Possum has babies nearby. Baby possum gets up under my house and in to my walls. Gets lost Gets trapped. Dies.
Flies find dead possum. Lays eggs. Maggots eat possum. All up. Maggots now have no more food and go a foragin.

I now have maggots crawling out of my WALLS!!! @#$%%^&*&^@##***.

Did I tell you my wife has been diagnosed with BI-POLAR DISEASE??????