I Wish

She would just stop talking to me. She ain't telling the truth. She talks to her momma like she hates me but she is very nice to me face to face.

All that makes me want to do is wish I would have taken off with the 5000 bucks back in May when I saw her symptoms rear there ugly head.

I told her if anyone asks just tell them we don't like each other and we are going our separate ways that's all.

She has got her mommy so riled up that her mommy thinks that something bad is going to happen to her.

I want to assure the world that so long as I am here and she is in my house that I will not do anything to harm her and that I WILL DEFEND HER WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

I do not hate her I just want her out the door.

She feels guilty. she feels so guilty that it is like a ton of weight on her. She is guilty. People don't you realize that guilt is a universal thing. That it is the holy spirit making you feel guilt. She has dedicated her life to Jesus and what she is doing is an abomination before God. I guess she thinks that God will just keep right on forgiving her except for one thing. If you do something long enough God will just turn you over to the doing of it.

I would say that she may be in the category of one of those people who are in danger of Judgement that Jesus speaks of. I know the heart of God. He does not wish this for her but if she does not change she will. god is no respecter of persons. So there is not going to be any excuse like 'but God I was bi-polar I didn't have any choice'. I don't think that is going to carry one ounce of weight with God. Well the truth is she does have a choice or does she? Maybe she would get away with 'It was your will that I be this way and I could not fight your will'.

Either way. I just want away from her or her away from me. I am praying and hoping for the middle of next week. I Hope I hope I hope I hope.